top of page

Do I Stay or Do I Go?

Ever been in this predicament?

The truth of the matter is, listen to your gut. It knows. But the problem with that is that when we’re in one of these quandaries, we get one answer, and then immediately second guess it with the other answer. And this just ends up in confusion and frustration.

Another way of addressing it then is to try on one of the answers. So you say that’s it, I’m deciding to Go. How do you feel now? Does it feel like the right decision?

Some philosophers would say to go in the direction that is most difficult. That’s the one you know you really have to do, you just don’t want to. Others would say go in the path of least resistance. That the correct path is the one which naturally unfolds.

But is there a correct path anyway? At the end of the day we’re going to do whatever it is we want to do. At that might mean prolonged pain, that we stay in a situation way too long, but then again, maybe we just didn’t have the resources to make that change any sooner….

Or maybe we leave too soon, give up to early, we don’t give things a chance. And then we’re destined not to learn the lesson and to repeat it in the next situation.

There are arguments for either side.

One way to really address this one is to look get o the heart of the matter. Look at what are your values in that area. Say for example, it’s a job you are considering leaving, The first step might be to write a big list of all the things that are important to you in a job. Just one word, dot points, answering the question “what is important to me in a job?”. You might say things like ‘being outside, promotion opportunities, a good team, having a purpose, good pay’ and so on. Then, rank these from most important to least. Once you know your top 5 values, you can assess – how much does this job meet each of those values? Could it if I changed something? If the answer is No, it’s probably time to go elsewhere. And that doesn’t mean you resign immediately. But it can mean you have made the decision to leave, now its just a matter of planning when and how to do that. The benefit is, you now have a list of criteria for the new job.

The same goes for relationships, business ventures, and other ‘stay or go’ decisions. Does it align with what's most important to me (my values)? And have I given it 100% to make it work? Once you've figured

that out, the answer should be clearer.

bottom of page